GALLERY

MY SELF-CRUCIFIXION

20" x 20" oil on canvas

january 2007

MY EARLY RETIREMENT

24" x 12" oil on canvass

june 2006

ORIGINAL SIN
15" x 15" oil on ceramic
july 2006

UNYONG
12" x 9" oil on canvass
june 2007

BIRTH OF VENUS

12" x 9" oil on canvass
january 2007

PANGS
15" x 10" pen & ink on paper
july 2005

BOOJEE
12" x 9" oil on canvass
january 2007

THE WATERFUN EXPERIENCE

Six to seven years back, it became a devastating experience to me that every once a year, there was this single day that you go out on the streets and you get these freakin folks splatter pails of water over to everyone they see. Usually clean water is being used but there are some who used stagnant and grimy liquids and out of fun, cruelty or for whatever reasons, they seemed enjoying the happenings as a part of a long-time tradition of the feast of Saint John, the Baptist.
If you were not a resident of San Juan or other places like Manila where St. John is the patron saint, you would never understand why these freaks would do the kind of nastiness. Through these years, I’ve learned to anticipate 24th of June as the day to avoid going out if you wish to keep yourself dry all day so when you have classes, work or any pertinent appointment, you should cancel and set out on another day.

Few years since then and now, I never projected that I will ever be a part of that water fun. I recently attended the Water Festival at the Dinalupihan Town Fiesta in Bataan in the honor of the aquatic patron St. John, the Baptist. Crazy happy people, huge fire trucks, devotees carrying torn foliage, street dancing… the spirit of the old Filipino tradition is very well alive.

It was my first experience to dance in the streets of a place that I was never been, got wet all over and had so much fun. Sun burn and a little runny nose followed shortly but of course nothing could be better than feastings over great food, beers and of course, warmth of the people of Dinalupihan. Truly it became a remarkable experience and gateway to embrace and love the idea about an absurd tradition.

DEAR BLOG

I’ve been away, all by myself. My journey went distant, you went far behind.
I went offline as you were left hanging...you know, you’ve missed so much about me.
We are no best friends but you are somewhat I can always count on
When I am devastated, I abandoned you and you never left me.

You help me show the whole world how I feel.
My talents restored, I believed in myself once again.
Cameras went on and off; you’ve been my constant audience.
Thank you for celebrating with me… and for sharing the tears as well.

Tonight I come back, as I write you another piece, accustomed thoughts about hurting, melancholy and glory.
Reflection of my ideas, expression of my emotions, you let me be the way I am.
It’s been a while and here I am again, my soul hungers to be listened, you are my sole aid to be in touch of the world.

Tonight I feel extraordinary; I am in need of a companion
No one else could understand me at least I know you would
You could always agree with me no matter how complicated I can be
I can be myself all the way and you would let me be

Tomorrow will come and dark segment ends
A book opens a new chapter and my life goes on.
As I get myself diverted and busy with the things to come…
…never ever consider that you are being taken for granted.
For as long as I exist and even when I’m passed away, there will always be somebody who would take a look back on the memories.

FILL IN THE BLANKS

I came to you in my worst but I felt genuinely the best. You filled the long-time empty side of my bed. I woke up in the middle of the night with your lips kissing mine, I know I missed it but I guess not… my soul wasn’t sleeping when you did.

You turn hope into reality, the lonesome nights became restful. A single day with you is a year long, that every second counts and each moment is worth spending, you took bad memories away

I almost forgot how to love but you reminded me of the old feeling when I was vulnerable, when my heart was supple and when my mind was sappy.
You brought back the tears in me when I am sad that you are far, that I love you and I am helpless and that I’m happy because God gave you to me.

You said I made you felt loved for real as I took you as my possession and I am the realization of your dreams and the answer to your wishes.

Now I say to you, you are the gift that made my questions answered. You reformatted my life and you are the only one left on file. I am complete and blessed, happy and even better. You made me live my life again and believe in God once more.

ANATOMY and BEYOND

I am in pain.
I am being choked by a giant saliva... its blocking my throat
and my chest feels like parting I can hardly breathe...
I suffer a billion stab each time i do
my head is flying, bumping a thousand boulders
My eyes wanna close but million images are flashing in seconds
I am like floating in a dark endless sea
I long to rest but my heart keeps on beating.
I gasp for some air but my lungs are empty
My lips are dry, my toungue tastes bitter
My system is working but my brain is dead
I feel in my fingertips, blood keeps flowing through my veins... despite of my heartbeat stop
I know Im tired and exhausted, wanting to end the agony
I dont know how to let it go.
If this is dying, why its taking me long?
Why is that everytime my heart breaks I have to suffer death?