FOUR SEASONS OF LONELINESS

It started with a big blast, when the previous year ended with a not-so-good welcoming. I have to loose a very important person in my life. Somebody who taught me how to appreciate things that I have and value myself more than I do... somebody who had a promise of forever and intimate, true friendship. This was a time of realization, of appreciating thing on my own perspective and finding my true value based on self-worth assessment. The year has to begin with a promise of a brand new life, stronger and more independent fightings. This was a SEASON OF LETTING GO.

In the middle of the year, after few months of struggle and consistently striving for a brighter side of life, work became a challenge and health was the main obstacle. A broken ankle, bruised legs, some flu, cardiovascular complication, typhoid fever... name it, my Vacation and Sick Leave benefits were all spent for these misfortunes. My integrity was in question, I wouldnt blame my company if they doubt... these can never happen to someone in a certain period of time but thanks God, there is a thing called the "benefit of the doubt". I have to loose my opportunity to move up for a higher position and only got an unending words of inspiration from my superiors trying to help me make it up and compensate for the lost chances and possible advancement. At least.. keeping my job made me survive the SEASON OF UNDOUBTED MISFORTUNE.

The time of surrender came in early last-half of the year. It was the era of when the "blogger" in me was born. I started writing my blogs... perhaps to talk to myself and repeatedly read back the documented self-help options. It was when I finally met and accepted the weak side of me. I was able to learn out that I wasnt really a strong man of all time but I am a man of reality that I sometimes have to embrace the idea of being the loosing side. Hence, this SEASON OF DEPRESSION made me appreciate the virtue of hope and renewal. I was able to let some negative part of me die and remaining good let me start with a promising continuation.

The year is about to end. My journey is still far halfway. The SEASON OF DETRACTION is currently passing. I am still being challenged by different forces. Frustration is still my worst detractor. My willingness to survive and live the life I used to have is still being compromised. I know, I am liable of my own actions but of course, external factors are beyond my control. Several people came along my way, I saw a great opportunities of attachment but each time frustration and dissapointment interferes. Yet, I pondered... the year indeed is an era of teaching and learning, loosing and winning, falling and uprising, and dying and reviving. This is goin to be the most outrageous moment of my life as the four seasons of loneliness is not just an artistic song composition but a true-to-life drama that can happen to anyone. hehehe.