ART & BETRAYAL

When do I know if its over? When do I know if its the dead end? When do I know if its about time to end a dream and wake up to reality? How do I know if its real or still a dream?

I am an artist. In my soul, in my heart and in every bits of myself. Over the years, I carried on and off, went on a different track, succeeded.. hence, I wanted to satisfy my passion back to being an artist.

I always battle with myself and my self-criticising nature that's why most of the time I have my artwork end up in the bin or just simply shelved in forever. Definitely I wanted to be at par with other artists. I wanted to back up my skills with an academic foundation, something to establish my realistic confidence.

Does a University degree strictly make one a real artist? When you came from other field of studies, does it mean you can't become one like artistic intellectual? You can paint, you can create, you are more than able to use your imagination, you can think and conceptualise and futhermore, you are more than able to explore... but when someone says NO... do you need to think of the end???

NEGLECT & REGRET

I'd say goodbye for now, I know it will be long

before we see each other again

I know it will not be the same

as the old days when we were as free as the birds

but no matter what, you will always be my best friend.

I remember the days when we simply spend time

talk about stupid things and laugh like crazy

long time ago when I was fragile

you were there to cheer me up

You spoiled me like a pampered child

you treated me as your brother

you never failed to remember me even if I do

My heart is bleeding and my soul cries

regret is killing me, I wish I didn't neglect you

I know its too late, I am suffering the price

My bestfriend, I am now alone

I wish you are here so I would feel the same happy as I was

They say 'you'll not miss the water until it's gone'

and I do realise that now, I wish I could turn back the time.

My bestfriend, goodbye for now

we will see each other again in a distant future

my heart will never change even if your's do

I will always cherish the moment that we had

I wish I get over this pain of losing you.

THE LEGEND HAPPENED IN CHINA.. TODAY.

The recently held 2008 Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony has been remarkable, earning so much respect and amazement over its host country, China. Several media commentators have expressed their salute to this one of the most outstanding events in the history of the Olympiad, and China so far is the only country who exceeded the grandest Olympics hosting ever made.

This time, the once regarded 'The Sleeping Giant' has proved the whole world that it was never asleep and has been making history over thousand of years ago. Very rich culture and tradition, great nature and wonderful people... this country has taken its toll to shine over the whole world.

Despite of the issues and challenges behind, with the protest to free Tibet, the human rights offenses in China and other political issues that threaten to boycott the event, everything went successful and China once again tasted the sweet triumph.

Lets just hope that everything about these problems take within the right place at the right time. Olympics is for the whole world to celebrate unity .. should not be political in any way.

A CHALLENGE TO MY FAITH

I was watching a series of documentary about geological discovery of artifacts linking to Jesus Christ's possible remains as a suspected burial ground was uncovered few years back and believed to be the family of Jesus'... including his. This has caused controversy as it contradicted the Bible's statement having Christ ascended into heaven after resurrection, and furthermore linking to the idea that Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus as her ossuary(geologist believed) was found along with Jesus' (based on geologists' initial conclusion).

Following this, I was inspired to create another work that has a religious theme, not directly because I was greatly affected by the show but this has been one of my dream project. I usually dont plan my next artwork, I just carry on with what comes to my mind... so this is the outcome.

Having seen the result, my comissioner was amused and commended me for a very nice painting in-progress. He then suggested and offered to commision to do an art something extremely intriguing and I would say scandalous... to make a painting of Jesus and Mary Magdalene making love. I didnt agree on the idea despite of a big amount of money and opportunity to be recognised. I was once repremanded for painting a Madonna and Child naked.. (the art was shelved and never finished as I was asked to dress it up).... and I would never do the same offence again. Im not a very religious person but I was raised with a solid foundation of faith. I told my comissioner, God gave me the talent... I wouldnt do use it to destroy him no matter what.

ART ONLINE

These are my latest ongoing project, both are untitled and soon to be completed.

60cm x 60cm oil on canvas seascape

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40cm x 30cm oil on canvas, still life

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THESE IMAGES ARE COPYRIGHT PROTECTED

LIVING MY PASSION

I write, I compose, sometimes I sing... yeah, I do!! But this time I paint. I finally finished my latest painting (well... almost). This is my second version of "The Birth of Venus", which took me almost a total of three weeks to complete. Unlike the first one, this is more detailed and more realistic highlighting the use of light and shadow againts high contrast and bright colours.

The artwork is 16" x 14", oil on canvas mounted on a half-inch pine back frame and is expected to be completed this month.

Another completed painting is "Summerwind" which is inspired by fantastic summer view around Malton in North Yorkshire, 40" x 10" oil on canvas, unframed.

ART GALLERY II

"SUMMERWIND"

10" x 14" oil on canvas

July, 2008

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"SUNSET"
14" x 16" oil on canvas
July, 2008

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COPYRIGHT PROTECTED

http://www.teddyrabida.com/

LAKE DISTRICT ADVENTURE : My First English Exploration

This is my very first holiday in England. The sky went pissing down all the time though we were blessed by a single sunny, warm day that gave us the opportunity to climb up the Langdale Pikes, went out of track, got lost and made our own way back against wild grasses, bushes of ferns, thorny shrubs and trees... and finally had a couple of pints at The Stickle Tarn Tavern to treat ourselves for the long, strenous and full of adventure walk.

We visited the Aira Force in Ullswater where we took these magnificent photos despite of a gloomy cold weather and constantly pissing down. Ravenglass gave us a seaside view and at least an experiance to ride a mini-train where the view alongside was fantastic. Other than that, i found nothing extraordinary with the place but not forgetting a nice playground.

The way along Wrynose and Hardknott Pass was breath-taking and finally we missed to take photographs of the Stickle Tarn where I almost passed out while climbing up the rocky hills and cliffs but generally the view up there was absolutely worth it and rewarding.

Other attaction includes the Old English wallings on the fields, Im greatly fascinated by the way it's made.. they call it 'Dry Docking', the mountain goats, some rabbit (we didnt kill any, it was an accident), the money tree in Aira Force and stone bridges. Along with friends, Yut, Charlie, Moddy, Mark and, Eddie and with Iain.. the holiday went all lots of fun and excitement despite of the heavy rain.

A HUNDRED YEARS ECLIPSE

Tonight I've been to the future and back to the past

millions of images on my mind, just too hard to explain

God let me sleep

I feel strange in bed, with the one next to me

i want this night to pass as fast as it could

this is the longest night of my life.

GOD SAVE THE rICE AGE

Rice is coming to an extinction and human race is in serious danger. The effects of global warming has destroyed agricultural lands, flooding some parts and at the same time drought made the rest of it barren. Rice farming is being abandoned as a line of work as other opportunities such as city life and modernisation is being considered by agriculture workers. Plantations being developed into real estates and industrial sites, vast fields being converted as grasslands for cattle raising which literally provides more income than the traditional rice and crops propagation. Population expansion is in great demand of food for everyone, famine is being experienced in some parts of the world and its becoming a serious problem.

While the rest of the world are busy resolving the problems concerning the destruction of the ozone layer, here comes another world phenomenon. Food shortage is being suffered in places that were known to be the producers of the world. Countries like Thailand, Vietnam, India and Philippines were vast rice suppliers for decades and now are undergoing a serious dilemma… coping up with globalisation of trades by exporting rice throughout the world leaving no supply to its local consumers. These factors may result in great poverty.. . that may possibly cause war in the long run as nation will go against another fighting for survival. Competition amongst privileged and the less- fortunate ones may possibly rise creating conflicts and insurgencies.
People of today must see these reality and act to save the world. Human existence is at risk and if we don’t act on it now, the rest of the genius world will turn into history.

ROCK MISS WORLD, ROCK!

The recently concluded beauty pageant Binibining Pilipinas 2008 created upheaval amongst many Filipinos as according to some, judges’ decision seems a bit controversial. Foreign and local media highlighted the event focusing on the announced winner Bb. Pilipinas- World, Janina San Miguel and it’s being widely criticised on the internet.
This is one of the most anticipated events to most Filipinos along with Manny Pacquiao and other pinoy boxers’ match on an international arena as the delegates selected will represent the country to various worldwide competitions. This year’s winner for Philippines’ delegate to Miss World pageant extremely made her greatest breakthrough. A seventeen year-old, Mass Communication freshman is from the University of the East – my alma mater.

As I read some news clips on the internet about this and learned that one of the winners is a UE student, I went on further and to my dismay, saw several video clips at youtube about the controversial question-and-answer of Ms. San Miguel.

I can hardly believe that this situation did really happen and it’s just unbelievable as this could only be heard on common jokes about obnoxious pinoy English knowing that Philippines is one of the call centre capital of the world.
In my honest opinion, Ms. San Miguel did a great job as she finally made it to win the crown and she caused wakefulness to most of the Filipino people. In the middle of continuous political turmoil in the country, at least there are some other things that our people could divert their attention at. In addition to, this may have called the attention to improve our educational system as Philippines is not going far behind to progression.

University of the East and all educational institutions could play an important role on this particularly by improving its system to help students to be academically and socially prepared on situations like this. I could recall when I was at UE, 8 years ago, Speech classes were provided but it really didn’t help us at all. Our Speech Comm. Professor couldn’t even pronounce English words correctly and unbelievably most of us finished the course without understanding and learning the basic and Standard English Vowels and Consonant applications, which is very important in accent training and oral and conversational English. We were introduced to the Mock Radio facility for vocal modulation but never used it ever. Entirely, the whole speech class was in writing.

Philippines has a very promising future in Call Centre industry and many Filipinos are doing well with a call-centre career. Trainings are provided efficiently and this is becoming the starter to many Pinoy aspirants, in which they should have it in their high school and college courses. Few years back, there were reports about 2 out of 20 applicants for a call centre makes it and 1 out of 2 makes it to the final interview. Evidently, Filipino people are genuinely diversed people who could easily adapt to any learning advancement.

Janina San Miguel’s journey to win the Miss World crown is going further if Filipinos would take the situation in a positive light. This may be funny but not enough reason to make fun with, instead, why don’t we help each other to improve each and everyone? Foreign people doesn’t really care about speaking a perfect language, afterall, it’s the thought that counts and the person’s overall personality.

PINOY ULTIMATE SURVIVORS

Our TFC (The Filipino Channel, a local Philippine television network subscription made available worldwide, powered by ABS-CBN company) service was restored back after 5 straight months. Realising that we were getting out dated with Philippines’ current events and news, particularly the rise-and-fall of Philippine peso in the world market, we decided to re-subscribe to the service.

Unsurprisingly, after few days of watching, I went exhausted and sick of the program Wowowee which is being aired during noontime in the Philippines. This show is absolutely filthy I should say. Claiming that it is to help millions of poor Filipino family to have a chance of winning a cash prize at the same time having fun in front of the national television, this sounds fair enough but looking at the entire picture, it is indirectly putting the whole Filipinos to humiliation as its being viewed worldwide.
These poor people are extremely looking pathetic in front of the national television in exchange of a little amount of cash while the rest of the world is having fun watching them thinking that its cause is to provide charities to the less fortunate. The more desperate-looking you are, the more cash you’ll get seems to be one of its’ game agenda.
This situation maybe funny in some point, but I strongly believe that it’s not something that one should make fun with. It’s absolutely disturbing as you can see; these poor people are really trying hard to look miserable in order to win a prize. Remembering the tragedy of the Ultra Stampede few years back, several lives were jeopardised for the same reasons and yet, our poor people didn’t seem to learn their lessons at all. They cant be blamed, as this opportunity could basically provide them extra fortune regardless of how humiliating they may be as afterall, everyone may think, these are all for fun. But its actually not, in fact very sickening. In the law of media ethics, a responsible broadcasting is strictly observed. Basically, the main objective is to expose the truth for the awareness of everyone concerned, however, there are some limitations that should be considered for the welfare of the viewers and everyone involved. Looking at these helpless people perform to look silly to win a cash prizes is as bad as watching a bleeding crippled person, being asked to dance in exchange of help.
ABS-CBN is a powerful network equipped with talented people working behind the scenes and the show’s host Willie Revillame is an equally talented person with a distinct charisma, definitely this would keep the show at its best even if they slightly reformat the show’s concept a little bit.

Lastly, the Filipino people is capable of doing something more than dancing, singing out of tune, making fun of themselves and struggling for a couple amount of money, whether rich or poor. A typical pinoy with dignity and pride is a survivor for all times, and this is what the world wants to see.

NON JE NE REGRETTE RIEN

I won’t regret loving you, I never will
The risks I took and the fears I had
Its all nothing against your worth
The joy you give and the smile you bring
Your arms around me and the moments we shared

You and me against the world
The distance between us
The lonesome each time we go apart
I wont regret as everything is worth enduring for

I live with fears, that one day you maybe gone
When my life is in your hand and my happiness is in your love
But I wont regret my love as you’ve given me your best

If one day I get hurt, if it happen that I fail
I will still be thankful
For somehow you made me believe in love
I will not succumb in pain

When I die, I wont be regretful
My life went meaningful, you made it complete
You gave me love, more than I deserve
I could wish for perpetuity, but I wont regret.

No, no regrets.
When you live, expect death
And in love, there will be pain
For every hope, there is a fear behind
Don’t regret , all the things are meant to be.

_______________________

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Ni Le Bien Qu`on M`a Fait, Ni Le Mal
Tout Ca M`est Bien Egal

Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
C`est Paye, Balaye, Oublie, Je Me Fous Du Passe

Avec Mes Souvenirs J`ai Allume Le Feu
Mes Shagrins, Mes Plaisirs,
Je N`ai Plus Besoin D`eux
Balaye Les Amours Avec Leurs Tremolos
Balaye Pour Toujours
Je Reparas A Zero

Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Ni Le Bien Qu`on M`a Fait, Ni Le Mal
Tout Ca M`est Bien Egal
Non, Rien De Rien, Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien
Car Ma Vie, Car Me Joies
Aujourd`hui Ca Commence Avec Toi Non Je Ne Regrette Rien

LA MôME

She came from nowhere, down to the streets of Paris and she had the world at her feet. With strong adoration to St. Therese of the Child Jesus, a child with so much hope but less fate, Edith became one of the world's most famous person. Her talent was the only weapon, with her love as her fortress and her entire life as the battlefield, she conquered and triumphed over the whole world. She died of a cancer, caused by alcohol and heroin, at the peak of her fame but her life was never wasted as she lived to the fullest of it. She is an admirable woman with a brilliant life and a legendary existence.

Edith Piaf was nobody to me until I've watched La Môme, a masterpiece by Olivier Dahan and starred by Marion Cotillard. The film tribute to the legendary Edith Piaf earned various recognitions all over the world and the most awaited and anticipated Oscars 2008.

Technically, La MôME is outstanding. The mileu is set perfectly with all the time elements of the early 20th century. The phasing is absolutely artistic as it jumps from one phase of her life to another and back, making us desire to watch it again entirely. One of the best parts of it is when she was lamenting over Marcel's death, transitioning to her coming out to the stage. Its very symbolic as her life went revolving around her lovelife and the desperation due to the loss of her love resulted to coming back to the stage to perform once again.

The portrayal of Edith's life on this film is marvelous and very moving. I've read one review about this, critizising the film's perspective as according to the critic, it focused on the bad story of her. I strongly believe that the film is very powerful, the element of pain and sorrow made it even more interesting. This picture showed us how Edith Piaf went with her life, with drug addiction, alcoholism and her illness, that afterall, everyone could tell at the end of the movie that she lived a wonderful life and remained adorable despite of everything. Million of people today knows Edith at heart because of this film. Her rise and fall became an inspiration to everyone to appreciate life, fate and of course, her legendary music.

LOST & FOUND

I woke up each morning, I didn’t know what I want.
Couldn’t live each day, I forgot who I was.
The old me has gone, cant seem to recall
I am dosed in the old city and I cant get away from it.

I was a stranger to myself
A survivor of my own fate
I kept believing on genuine people as I thought
But I never found a comfort in the city where life is a trouble

Heading to nowhere, to a place I’ve never been
Getting insane about things, I went breaking myself free
Driving down south my mind was still bare
Empty as my life is, with fears, regrets and risks.

I woke up and open my eyes
And I saw your face before mine
In a strange land I found warmth
In myself I found peace.

I found the love in you, Scarborough
I belong to you
You had me at my worst and you have me at my best
You may not deserve me, but my love will be forever yours

The simple life you brought is the greatest thing I ever had
I want to spend a lifetime with you
I wanna die in your arms, Scarborough.

A STORY ABOUT FAITH (adapted)

A girl was raped in Marikina (a city in Manila), teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, She asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?

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Writer's Comment

This is a re-post and I didnt write this but i think its something nice to share.

A LOVE STORY MADE IN ENGLAND

It’s a story about love, passion and somehow we can say insanity. In a deeper sense we can say it tells more about trust and faith and behind it all, sensuality describes all in it. She happened to meet a stranger and struck to fall in love leaving everything that she got behind including her career, her relationship and entire life. Its about falling in love with the person that you barely know and making it happen in a strike of a lightning, loaded with love and passion and hunger for intimacy.
All for the sake of love, she will give up everything just to be with the one she genuinely love. Its about living a brand new life in a brand new world with a brand new love. Everything seemed to be perfect but love cannot survive alone as trust must come along to make it stronger and resistant to any kind of destruction. When we love somebody we tend to give up everything and its simply crazy but fulfilling.
Somehow when we think about our past, we tend to be cautious with what’s ahead of us but we let things happen as we trust in love alone. Somehow its magic to meet someone and fall in love right away as if everything has taken its places all at the same time. We close our eyes and see nothing but the good of the one we love making us blinded throughout but as we open it, we see the clearer and realistic vision . Trust keeps us going as we deal with reality, going into a process of knowing the person that we chose to be with and loving them at all the worst and best that they can be and eventually turn trust into faith.

I’ve watched this film entitled ‘Killing Me Softly’ in 2003 and since then, casts Joseph Fiennes and Heather Graham became my favourite actors.Giving credit to its director Chen Kaige for outstanding shots and cinematography, the actors did the greatest job by making it sensually realistic and stunning behind it all. It’s a well written plot and the twists are effectively playing on artistically-shot scenes. One of my favourite part of this is when Adam (joseph fiennes) and Alice (heather graham) went to their honeymoon in a secluded countryside. It was so far the most romantic sex scene that I’ve ever seen when Adam had this long silk garment (I forgot what its called like but its like a long scarf) tied around Alice’s neck to the ceiling and back to his hands. This is a symbolism of faith and trust to the one we love. And yeah! the love scenes are fantastically stimulating.

RETURN TO SENDER (user not found)

Did you hurt him just because somebody hurt you?
You cant be with him even just as friends because you decided to be alone.
When all he wanted was to stay around and see you from a distance.
And he wanted nothing else but your happiness and show you more about life other than pain and misery.
As he made himself a good listener and comforter despite of possibly having the same fate.

Did you push him away to do things that he doesn’t do and be someone that he is not just because you didn’t care at all?
You called him obsessed when he loves you in silence and did nothing else.
And he chose to be still and say nothing because he knew you were vulnerable and you pain was hurting and your wounds were not healed.
You wanted him to loosen when he was never heavy.
And you didn’t realise you have hurt him as what other s did to you.

Would you continue looking at him same as the people who hurt you that’s why you wanted him to suffer?
You drove him out and mess up his life when he just wanted to stay safe with you.
And you disrespected him as he kept his admiration.
You cared for yourself without thinking that he may have cared for you more.

Can’t friendship exist on top of loving?
Can’t someone love without being loved in return?
Can’t it be a one-way thing?
Can’t love be unconditional?